April 1, 2013
There’s that saying, when life gives you lemons make lemonade. Make the best of a bad situation I guess is the point.
Recently I’ve been feeling like life’s been giving me too many lemons and not enough sugar to help me make the lemonade. I know I’m the one meant to provide the ‘sugar’ but I’m kind of low on it right now. I guess it started offically on the day before Good Friday, when I had to deal with a shitty situation that wasn’t my own making but someone else’s and I was expected to step up and fix it or bend to the situation, I suppose. Which made me feel unappreciated and really mad.
I hate when people expect something from you, you meet that expectation then they continue to expect more and more. When is enough, enough? I can only bend so much. But I’m worried about the consequences when it’s clear to me that my breaking point isn’t that far away right now.
This isn’t helped by my lack of sleep. During that place between being asleep and awake I’m plagued with thoughts of my Father. Now spring is upon us and we’re only 17 days away from what would have been my Father’s 84th birthday, it just brings more pain.
We’re ready for a season he’ll never see again yet it’s a season he was hoping for. While he was (unknown to us) dying he longed for spring and the warm weather, so sure he would be better or more able to manage once winter had gone. It hurts my heart to see another spring and know he never will again.