Goodbye or Hello!

July 9, 2014
Untitled

Sometimes, ok a lot of times I want to delete the content of this blog. Sometimes I want to restart and sometimes I don't want a space like this at all!

I'm inspired by so many other amazing lifestyle bloggers out there but I just feel that no matter how hard I try my content doesn't come off the way I really want it to.
I often feel my pictures look shiiiiit but I've never been the type of person to spend hours tweeking them in photoshop. I like natural, candid, real photos but when I look back I often think if I did this or that they might look better.
That's not to say that I'm comparing myself to others because with this blog I really don't {can you tell?} 

I just feel that in the nearly four years this blog still doesn't reflect me in all the ways I want it to and I don't know if it ever will. 
Sometimes I think if I just try harder, and it's not about the followers or the free things you can receive from being a blogger as that has never been what blogging has been about for me but I just feel that this little space of mine isn't well... really mine.
It's not like livejournal where only certain people can see the things you wrote and you could say anything you wanted to. 
Because that's what this blog was meant to replace but by being slightly more open {by using blogger} it feels like I have to watch everything I post about and watch the words I use and the way in which I write and there's no fun in that for me. 

After taking a full two month break due to no internet I've really struggled to get back into it even though I have pages and pages of ideas of posts in my notebook. Because now there's this even bigger space with all the things I didn't say and you can't go back and fill them in so the idea of this blog being like a diary like my livejournal used to be just isn't working. 

I don't really know what the point of this post is really saying. Maybe it's to say this space may not be around forever or that things will change and I'll figure out how to make it more me or maybe I won't and I'll have to just accept that this space won't be as open about me and the things in my life as I wanted it to be, and hopefully however this ends I'll be ok with that.

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