Blink and six months are gone
While we’ve now just passed the first sixth months of 2018 I have to be honest and say I’ve not really done what I set out to achieve for 2018 and I feel this has to be said, I’m rather unsurprised by this.
If you look through my blog you will see for that for the first four months of 2018 there was content and there was content because I was well.
I had a clear mind to think and plan and write. I wasn’t dealing with brain fog or chronic pain or any of the other many symptoms my chronic illness gives me. I felt healthy and whole and happy, for a change. But this was only a temporary moment though. Because my husband and I are going down the IVF route I’ve had to ditch many of my medications and solutions to dealing with my chronic illness and those first four months of 2018 my body was in a transitional state coming off medications and finding it’s natural rhyme. But by April my body had found it’s rhyme and it felt like I was learning how to live with my illness all over again.
So many things had to take a backseat while I readjusted and AGM was one of them.
It wasn’t an easy decision to make but other things had to come first.
While the first half of 2018 is over and done with I still haven’t made any real goals or plans. I have thoughts and ideas that I want to turn into goals and plans but I’m not going to put any added pressure on myself to set them.
I’m also not putting myself in a comparison trap like I usually do, that so many other people have set they’re goals and are already working on actioning them.
Partly because the last three months have been hard for me and partly because everyone works at a different pace and I really feel I’ve reached a place where I can accept that I have to go at my own speed and with my own steam.
Some things I’ve realised:
Things can’t be made concrete
I need flow and wiggle room. I can’t make a goal or a plan without any added space in case of bad days, flare-ups or hospital stays. I need things not to be set in stone because I can’t predict my illness and health and trying to do otherwise isn’t good for me hence the wiggle room needed.
Pressure and stress are bad
Pressure triggers my stress, stress upsets my body, which makes me more likely to have a flare-up’s or a few really bad days and nobody wants that. So reducing pressure and stress are really important for me, so if that means not making goals for the second half of the year until July or August then that’s what will happen.
Understanding is vital
With my body in its more natural state, it means I’m dealing with my hormones and moods a lot and when I have an idea if I don’t feel 100% connect with that idea I have to sit with it for a while. I have to make sure it’s right and sometimes you just get the gut feeling and just know and other times you have to journal it out, talk it out or even just sit with it for a while.
So, to finish…
At the end of the day this is rather a small thing, creating a plan and setting goals but because of this small thing, I’ve been able to recognise some key factors that are important in my life. I can take these key factors and apply them to other areas of my life while living with my chronic illness and know that they will have a big impact no matter what area I apply them to.
So don’t think that coming up with just a couple of key factors won’t work for you, because they will! Taking the time and really figuring out what will help you will make such a difference. What will reducing or accepting less or more of make easier for you?